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Fear Fuels Baby Business Boom

For some parents, the reality of raising kids sinks in during the first ultrasound. For others, the day of reckoning comes when they bring a newborn home from the hospital.

Me, I came to grips with the reality of raising kids during a housecall from Suzie the Babyproofer.

Before Susie, my wife and I were relatively untroubled about our prospects as parent-protectors. On this count, we felt our record was pretty good. After all, we’d had a dog for a year, and it was still alive. Babies would be a cinch.

Then came that fateful afternoon with Suzie, who arrived at our doorstep with a big toothy smile and a polo-knit shirt with the logo of her company stitched on the breast pocket - a cute cartoon baby pointing a cute cartoon finger at a cute cartoon electrical socket.

“Those stair railings are a death trap!” she said, getting right down to business.  “Little baby head gets stuck in there and, oh boy!”

She moved on to the kitchen. “Lookie here!” Suzie said, opening the cabinet under the sink to reveal an array of detergents, bug sprays and oven cleaners. “What pretty poison!” she chirped. “One little sip from baby and, uh oh!”

Suzie reached a fever pitch in the bathroom, where she gleefully pantomimed our new baby drowning in the toilet bowl, poking out an eyeball on the faucet head and suffering blistering burns in the bathtub.

This wasn’t an inspection; it was a procession of fear leading to the unveiling of a glorious selection of products expertly engineered to reduce the risks in this death trap I called home.

Did I fall for it? How could I not? I was a new dad, and while I was pretty fuzzy on all the job requirements, I was pretty sure letting my firstborn drown in the toilet bowl would be bad. So of course I bought the safety toilet lock. I also got the plexiglass railing barriers, the inflatable water fixture covers, the table top foam cushions and enough latches and locks to contain a violent criminal.

And with that, I was initiated into what might be described as the essence of modern parenting, which consists largely of imagining all the horrible things that can happen to your child and then going out and buying some specially-engineered product to prevent those disasters.

This escalation of anxiety and consumerism is detailed in a fascinating new book, Parenting Inc. Author Pamela Paul shows how companies selling everything from infant movement monitors to educational DVDs have built a booming business convincing parents they cannot trust their children’s safety or well-being to themselves.

The fact is that parents now spend more on their children than ever before. In the U.S., the cost of raising kids has risen 66 percent over the last decade, Paul says, with the so-called “mommy market” now topping $1.7 trillion. In part, this growth has been fueled by affluent parents and their embrace of “baby couture” - witness the appearance of high-end baby boutiques peddling cashmere burp blankets and $1000 strollers. Further down the economic food chain, parents now routinely shell out for chirping and scrunchy toys that enhance cognition and all manner of products designed to make our homes safer.

“We’ve come to believe we can buy a better baby,” Paul says. “We’re now convinced that if you have the exact right combination of DVDs and safety equipment, your child will emerge unscathed out of toddlerhood and go on to a top tier school.”

While not discounting all modern conveniences - “where would be we without the sippy cup?” she says - Paul says she believes the vast majority of products aimed at the anxious new parent are either worthless or even harmful. After all, she says, children who grow up in an entirely child-proofed world will never learn basic caution or common sense. “You want your kid to learn to take care of themselves,” she says. “And the fact is that if you totally baby-proof your life, your baby will get psychologically relaxed and stop paying attention.”

Paul says parents can escape this anxious strain of over-protection by soberly and methodically evaluating all new products and services. But who has time for that? It’s been nine years since that fateful visit with Suzie the babyproofer, and I’m happy to report that I’m no longer such a sucker for such obvious appeals to my fear of disaster and need to protect.

Last week, while installing a car seat for my third kid, I remembered doing the same the same job for my first son. That first time, a slight wiggle at the base sent me rushing to a fire station, and then another, to have the seat checked and double-checked by an emergency response professional. Now after strapping the seat in, I could easily ignore the fact that it shifted back and forth a little.

Three kids have a way of teaching you to accept a little wiggle.